Friday, April 20, 2012

Biff and Mary: Chapters 6 and 7

For those who'd like to read from the beginning, I've added a separate page which contains the entire story up to this point (check navigation bar, above, or click here).  I will add to it each time I post an update.Again, I feel the need to point out that this is merely my own little humorous exercise in "What Not to Do," shared for mutual laughs, and not meant to be considered Serious Writing by any means! ;)Welcome back for more Biff and Mary!Hope you enjoy today's chapters! :)

Chapter 6: Wherein Biff Befriends Bitsy

Mary leapt up from her seat as her friend drew near, drawing her into a warm hug before turning toward Biff, who had risen in a gentlemanly fashion, as one did when a woman approached one’s table, if one had been raised right. 
“Biff, meet Bitsy Buffington, my best friend from Buffalo!”
She turned to Bitsy.  “Bitsy, my beau, Biff!”
Biff grasped Bitsy’s hand with a firm-but-definitely-not-too-firm amount of pressure, as was appropriate when a man was introduced to a woman.  “A pleasure, Miss Buffington.”
“Oh, please call me Bitsy!” she said, “Everyone does!”
Bitsy was petite and poised, and enveloped in a tasteful ensemble consisting of a pink and white pinstriped linen skirt with four one-inch rose-colored buttons at the side, its hem approximately two and one-half inches above her knees, topped by a lightweight cashmere sweater set in Powder Pink, purchased at Prudence’s Practical Petites Boutique in Poughkeepsie, finished with two-inch heeled matching pumps and tasteful teardrop pearl earrings. 
Her hair was red – not so dark red as to be auburn, nor copper, nor ginger, nor most any other usual shade of red – no, it was a striking strawberry blonde which perfectly complemented her cerulean blue eyes and pouty pink lips, rendering her overall loveliness close but not nearly matching the blonder beauty of the lovely young lady next to her, Biff thought as he refocused his attention on his own gorgeous gal, Mary.
“Would you care to join us, Bitsy?” Biff asked, gesturing at the chair next to Mary’s.
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly intrude,” Bitsy demurred. “Besides, I’m afraid I have a previous engagement. Although, I suppose I could sit for just a moment…if you’re sure you wouldn’t mind?”
“Certainly not,” Biff stated definitively, pulling her chair out for her. 
Once seated, the three spent a few minutes chatting about one another’s lives, their homes, hybrid cars and favorite styling products.  Mary was thrilled to be able to introduce her bosom buddy Bitsy to her best beau Biff, and spent a silent moment appreciating them until her attention was suddenly drawn to the 19 inch Samsung Flat Screen TV mounted on the wall above the coffee bar.  The screen displayed a weather map in various meaningless-to-Mary colors, being pointed to by Kirk “Just-Call-Me-Cumulonimbus” Kirkland, the chief meteorologist of Channel 10 News.
“Biff!” she squeaked in alarm, reaching across the polished table to grasp his manly forearm.

Chapter 7:  In Which Biff and Mary’s Love is Tested

“Mary?” Biff asked, cut off in mid-sentence as he’d been describing the environmentally-correct upholstry of his prized Prius to Bitsy. “Are you all right?”
Mary nodded toward the television screen, where Kirk Kirkland was still pointing at the map.  A banner scrolled across the bottom of the screen and Biff and Mary exchanged an anxious glance as they realized that the moment had come --  Biff’s future could very well be determined in the next few minutes, as they were about to learn whether or not he would henceforth share his distinguished moniker with a horrific tropical storm.
As the two lovers grasped one another’s hands in silent solidarity, Bitsy looked at them in confusion until she followed their gazes to the screen of the Samsung Flat Screen TV.
“The weather? What…?”
But Biff and Mary couldn’t spare a moment to illuminate the particulars for Bitsy, because right at that very minute Kirk “Cumulonimbus” Kirkland’s expression changed and his usually-brightly-blinding smile momentarily disappeared as he pointed at the map, and the scroll at the bottom declared “The tropical storm being watched for the last twenty-four hours has been upgraded to…”
Mary squeezed her eyes shut involuntarily, and then forced herself to open them.  She had to be strong.  She must be strong!  She needed to be there for her beloved beau, Biff, no matter what happened. She knew that their love would see them through any storm – even one named “Hurricane Biff.”  She looked at the screen.
“…but the storm is expected to head back out to sea, and Hurricane Bruce is unlikely to…”
Biff and Mary cheered, startling a number of patrons at Bart’s Bistro, including their own guest, Bitsy, and they rose from the table and embraced, then stood together, hands clasped, mutually overcome with relief.
“Oh, Biff,” Mary breathed as she gazed up at him, smiling tremulously.
“Mary,” Biff replied, gazing back. “What a relief! Thank you for standing by me through it all.  It means the world to me to have my best gal by my side!”  He kissed her cheek tenderly, right there in the middle of Bart’s Bistro.
A sigh emanating from their table drew their attention; it was a heavy sigh, the exact kind that one sighs when one is overcome by the emotion of seeing two clearly destined lovers displaying public affection to one another, and it came from Mary’s friend, Bitsy. She reached into her pink leather Gucci handbag with matching leather tassles and a double-horse-head clasp, and withdrew a pure white monogrammed handkerchief with one inch lace stitched all around the edges, and proceeded to dab at the corner of her expressive cerulean blue eyes, so happy to witness the love her friend had found in her beau, Biff, and the apparent strength of their union.
Biff and Mary politely returned to their respective seats and Mary explained the hurricane scare, which of course Bitsy empathized with, expressing her concern for the extreme amount of stress the situation must have caused both Biff and Mary.  
What with Bitsy’s arrival, the culmination of the hurricane situation, and her tender moment with Biff, Mary forgot all about the fly parts on the sill and the necessity of discussing boxes with Biff and the three of them chatted happily until Bitsy bade them farewell so that she could meet with her own brunch date, her sister, Mitzi.
Alone together once more, Biff and Mary ordered their meals and gazed happily at one another across the table for approximately two minutes and fifteen seconds (give or take) until Biff finally broke the silence.
“Mary, there is something important I wanted to ask you…”

(to be continued)

What is Biff’s important question?
Will whatever he has to say affect Mary’s enjoyment of her Caesar Salad or Tiramisu?
Will she remember the fly wing at all?
And will Biff’s concealer hold through the entire meal?
Tune in next time! 

1 comment:

  1. Oh, joy of joys, the hurricane isn't named Biff! ;)

    Will it be enough to get him to propose, now that she's proven herself?

    I love this. I sit here and laugh while reading it and the DH just looks at me and shakes his head.